I have had a particularly bad week. I’ve cared for many sick animals and some have died. Today I euthanized a friend’s 16 year old dog and sat quietly as my friends and their twenty-one year old daughter grieved. This dog had been a family member to the girl, as much a part of her life as her sisters and parents. It seemed unfair. Yet the dog had lived a full life, rescued from a dog pound, then living with this family who loved her, and who cared for her. Really, can we ask for anything more?
This evening a very young duckling, he had been found in a pool yesterday, died. I was fostering him, envisioning him flying off, in the fall, fully grown, ready for new adventures. That was not to happen. We will bury him at our home and cry a little, sensing the loss of a precious creature. It is a sad time for me, but not for him. That future was never in his thoughts. Sure he got separated from his mom, but someone cared enough to save him, he was cared for by me and my family. He did not die alone and he did not suffer.
I’ve been pondering these events and I have come to realize that my job is to ward off death, cheat it of a few days, hours or years. I realize that some might find this pretentious. ‘My god, she is after all only a veterinarian’, they might say. It is not like I am a brain surgeon or rescue worker. They are, after all, animals. However, to me they are all important. It’s my job and I try to do it the very best way possible. I take the patients success or their passing very personally. I am not very fond of death, but I feel like I know it pretty well.
I see many very sick animals, critical cases, severe trauma and serious illnesses every day. From the moment they are under my care, after the first exam or diagnostic test, the battle is on. Make good choices, pick the right tests, watch all the vitals and take care of the owners. It’s like chess, but for keeps. Even the well pets that I see, every vaccine or medication that I might recommend is geared towards denying disease a foot hold and making sure death waits far in that animals future.
I take losing to death very hard. But, then, after I recover, I have to remember that it is not the amount of time an animal lives, but how they live. Death will win with all of us at one time or another. We must make the best of it for as long as possible. I will try to continue doing that for my patients, by keeping them happy, healthy, and out of pain and try to be sure that they know that someone cares.
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